A Foolish Heart

I felt like a petal finally unshackled from a tangle of leaves,

Strands of sunshine felt like all heaven fulfilled,

Every moment felt both golden and glorious,

Little did I know it was all tease and deceit!

 

My blinded heart had been made blameless and soft,

It is as if it was all safe in the darkening labyrinth,

Was this that old boring pattern I once heard?

That love is blind?

 

I now feel little, too small to break the dewy mist of the grass,

I have been reduced like an ingredient in an old wise recipe,

My abandoned heart feels cold and too fragile,

Shuttered million times over coz of the deafening horror

 

All my senses are lost as I sit in a sea of petals,

The reality of things makes me shiver under the bright sun,

Too afraid but already armed to teeth for the onslaught of sympathy,

Though I wish I could curl the edges of my foolish heart away from searching eyes

 

Rage is fired up by the guilt that is lying under my black skin,

How could I be so wrong? How could I be so foolish?

No. This is only temporally. Nothing is permanent,

I want to cling tightly to these words that mattered now,

I conjure a smile…It is broken,

In my mind I waver between a bittersweet feeling…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Delicious Death Moan

I wish I could turn myself into a stone

to escape the sharp edged feelings that cut thru’

with so much horror that numbs me again and again

in a world that has suddenly tuned chaotic and insane.

 

In vain I try to take and hold deep breaths to imagine

a beauty that is colored by all things that really matter

the simple, self-effacing life away from structured surrounding

but the reality of it all could be further away from nightmare.

 

While I cloak all this profound reality in my poetry

i do it with a grave heart hyperaware of any gale

inspiration has seized me mixed with animal power

as I inhibit this air and silence that stretches to infinity.

 

The world torments the innocent with cruel pleasure in her eyes

uglying glowing flesh that once basked in the sun

splitting it apart so perfectly with a faithful bomb or a bullet

tingling pleasure that creates repulsive Goosebumps to its masters.

 

In my world, the air has turned cold and too fragile

that I am afraid to bow to the bottomless of its eyes

because it feels like entering into an endless dark tunnel

all that makes the innocent to hold on tightly to death

with eyes raised up as if pleading for help from the sky.

 

 

 

Breathe Deep…

A Dreamy Fleeting Spell

I leaned on the truck of that naked tree; it felt so easy, so magical,

It was as gentle as a lover’s voice is late morning,

It faded away all chaos that rested in me and calmed my storm,

Is that how the naked tree felt? I had no inkling idea

 

The lazy sun was slowly breaking through the gray clouds,

As if stretching time for me to feel and reach out for the naked tree,

The naked tree harbored quiet secrets and powers,

I felt hints of wisdom as it stood in silence and loneliness

 

The naked tree washed away all unnecessary worries of my heart,

As I yearned to project my own reality to the gray and ungiving world,

To feel and bath in a life faithful to own self,

The naked tree opened new strength, freedom and sublimity

 

I closed my eyes as I felt brief twists of cold breeze hit me,

Accompanied by sudden attack of mysterious cheerfulness,

The naked tree possessed easy magic in its own place,

It had traversed many histories with this knowledge of truth

 

The absence of leaves stuck so intensely with a piecing sharpness,

It seemed as if it led a sad, old and detached life,

But all these feelings seemed deceptive and blinding,

For the naked tree stood alone, proud and definite

I wished to turn and make myself like the naked tree

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Delicious Soul Food

Midnight Bath

I made suspicious paces towards the neglected path,

Of a dense network all consuming trees and elms

They stood together with eyes that hinted worry and charm,

It was as if they knew my story but had not grasped the whole of it

 

As I got deeper into the woods I was hit by brief twists of comfort,

Fading the thicket of horror that had filled my tired body,

I couldn’t afford to overlook the glowing sign in my darkness,

That sweet relief was too heavy for it brought tears to my eyes

 

I wanted to plead and cry out for help to Mother Nature,

To be my comforting angel in this lonely hour that possessed hidden meaning,

I lost all sense of self-preservation as I approached animals of the wild,

They seemed to be lost in a midnight bath oblivious of my presence

 

I watched the discreet floating air that flickered between us,

It carried with it glorious dancing shadows of unheard rhythm,

A celebration of an exuberant life that squirmed with pleasure,

I had to turn up my thoughts inside out in the hands of Mother Nature

 

The animals of the wild submitted with palatable pleasure with a soft growl,

That was dominated with possessions to their hard instincts,

I was besieged by equal binding trust that was not spelled out in us,

I felt safe in the dark that was descending upon all that was living,

As I let go all that chained and tethered my lithe spirit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Abandoned Dreams

The present cannot be extended only lived,

Abandoned dreams seem to tighten the air around,

Those that made her heart heave with heavy expectation,

For what would her future be? Without those dreams?

 

They dwelled deep in the depths of her heart,

They were insistence and stubborn not to be ignored,

They conjured the moment to be a haunting image,

Everything else seemed misleading and wallowing

 

All her activities seemed to be pointing towards her vanity,

She felt plain and clumsy not walking through those dreams,

The air seemed all suspicious as if judging her,

She knew that she had to drop all her resistance and try

 

She broke that deep half ironic, lunatic silence that was suffocating,

This unfathomable darkness was going to be her light,

All uncertainty that blinded her eyes was going to be her certainty,

After all, they were her dreams, her own precious possessions,

Her present was going to be colored with heavy expectations,

Like the delicious petals that quivered with pride in the cold breeze

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Simple Beginning

It was an early and thin drizzle that accompanied that morning,

My beginning seemed already here, all hope fulfilled,

Of all the shadowy concept of youth that lay inside me,

With a benign smile that washed away all delusional feelings

 

At that moment I felt a sudden and faint glow,

That had overgrown the annoying air of silly mysteries,

I had to wave goodbye to all sucking aspirations,

I wanted a simple life that floated easily through the air around me

 

In that still and quiet morning I waited with a bated breath,

For the thin flickering yellow strands of light that struggled through the clouds,

That I may bath in the blinding sunlight that could be more generous,

For my first of absolute and fleeting moment of happiness

 

A promising and glorious clear cloudless skies is all I longed, needed,

That has all black knowledge that could burn away all unawareness,

Birds thrumming through the skies danced to their songs,

And the black shouting flowers unshackled through the leaves of trees,

I tentatively swallowed the lamp of ecstasy that welled inside me,

I knew that the presence of present things was indeed sight and I was there…