Cody…..Shining from ‘The Other Side”

I cannot believe that you are absent yet again,
I wish I could employ a little magic,
To bring you back to life,
Just for a minute to experience your presence

 

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Thoughts are dragging me in their wake,
They are urgent, varied and exhaust my senses,
This is an orgy kind of solitude never felt before,
As I crave to see you annoy me just once again

We shared all the delights and pains of life,
These memories glow but they also hurt with odd sharpness,
I felt the hand of death when I saw you breathe your last,
I still wish that I could do something, anything for you

I still reel with tears when images of your weak body prop up,
Struggling in vain to suck your last energy while in my arms,
The images are still crystal clear and well-lit in my mind’s eye,
They force me through the horrors of death throes

Your parting has made me become who I am,
I do not know who I am anymore,
I have become a maze of shambles
I am full of grief beyond comprehension

Time after time, I call upon your name from memories,
Cody, Cody…. reality always storms my heart,
Silence, silence that I never knew existed,
I had seen it better never taken it in

I have resigned my hopes to the inevitable ‘other side’,
I can’t stop wondering if you are happy in that other side,
The strands of sweetened morning sunshine remind me of you,
You were my sunshine and still are…
For as a kitty I made you a home in my heart to stay forever,

 

 

 

 

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The Heartache

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He could feel it and smell it too,
The burning heartache that churned inside,
He longed for a small mound of love, just little,
It was a soft cry, though it was sad and hopeless

This was an artificially created crisis, but by who?
It had made him small and inside he was a stone,
For his heart carried a quiet kind of rebel for all things,
He had come accustomed to all evil spewed on him

Although he was surrounded by a sea of honest petals,
That danced graciously in the blameless soft breeze,
Violence had numbed his senses into disbelief,
Could neither feel the highest joy nor the deepest sadness.

He was tethered like a hopeless Christmas animal,
For the onslaught of anything that would kill his peace,
For the world was full of tension and discriminate hate,
He had confirmed that horror on earth is real and canny

He wished he could shut his eyes and command it to stop,
He wished to feel wild and free just once more in life,
He wished to feel unreachable and invincible all at once,
He wished he could go into that light but deep dreamlike bliss…
This moment that extended everything that he wasn’t sure of

 

 

 

Yesterday’s Sunset

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Sunsets come soaked with different colors
amber, orange, red, gold and distilled purple
they are shimmering and spectacular against the blue sky
they always suggest and remind me about the beauty of living.

Yesterday, the rhythm of the soft breeze announced its arrival
it was more vivid through the naked branches of the lone tree
probably telling delicious secrets about life that i was unaware of
slowly, that intoxicating rhythm of life found its way to my soul.

The intricacies of the setting sun were reflected through the flower petals
the majesty of the light that shone through them centered my heart
teaching me how to cope with the storms in my life
that truth was bigger than all the mysterious shadows I’d ever seen

The sun’s low orange candle carried warmth that I could only imagine
it was strange and it carried a quality that I could never give a name to
for that quality permitted my transparent reflections to live and thrive
and unburden myself of all the hurt, worries and suck aspirations

The tree gave an innate dignity that was free of any pride
but it also kept its ancient pride
despite being dishonored time after time
it came naturally like the warmth of the rising sun

Yesterday’s sunset was magical
it was peaceful,
it was wild,
it was unrestricted,
and I desired for a quiet continuity

Abyss of desire wash through my body when yesterday’s sunset steals all my thoughts

 

 

Illicit Rendezvous

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I longed for my illicit rendezvous
too wave goodbye to all the noises
all shrieking words without a heart
those that created hell in heaven.

Litany of lies was spread everywhere
because it was the accepted religion
which everyone risked offending
yet it alluded even the most faithful.

I crave and rave to push myself away
and seek the perfection of my own reality
for that is my knowledge of true self
and because of freedom…I have to let me be.

I need the present and life to take priority over history
searching and yearning for my illicit rendezvous
beneath this blackened grey sky
I will never gloss over pride customs
nor ethical standards.

For how hurtful can it be?
Accepting a life chained by blinding faith
one lived beneath hideous masks
feeling hurt moment after moment
distorting my visage can be horrifying!

 

 

Hold Me…

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Hold me…
And wash away my silly and annoying awkwardness,
That is overgrown with irrelevant and tiresome details,
Of how things should be

I need you to hold me…
To take away my loneliness and silence,
I need time to stop my heart and feel all things,
That I wish, hope and dream of, only in an instant

Please hold me and trap my searching soul,
That anticipates, yearns and desires,
To dance like trees and flowers in the rain,
I want that moment to sink deep in my veins

Hold me, my dear…
Let my passion flow through you like a river,
I need to embrace a clear vision of true beauty,
To explore and discover new possibilities in your arms

In your arms,
I will swim in the stars and the clear moon,
I will give myself freely to you,
I will be that innocent leaf carried by the wind

When you hold me,
I will have no words to call that feeling,
But I know it is delicate, beautiful and smooth like fragile petals,
With bright colors which carry my stagnant distilled peace…

Trapped Voice

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He thought that in time, his mind will protect his sanity,
From mounting storms and chaos raging through his flimsy heart,
This rose, whenever he was close enough to experience her scent
In a second he was plunged into a state of enchantment

He was floating in the nothingness of the moment,
It bathed away all his old scars and made him new,
He was waving goodbye to suck desires,
He was a child of oblivion

It was a time to listen to the rhythms of his blinded heart,
He was spell-bounded in the amber of that delicious moment,
Never hesitating to wash all mannerism and pretenses,
Time was never guided by any system

The beauty in her scent carried silent power,
It was warm and had cherry blossom,
His black knowledge hinted that his time was here and now,
And it made blood to throb fiercely through his veins,

He was tired of waiting and wilting through cold days,
He was going to finally tell her about his black desires,
Even with a benign smile he felt disillusioned and lost,
He was unable to control his sensibility and emotions,

He wanted to tell her how much he needed her,
How much his days passed without any purpose,
How much he dreamt, wished and hoped for them both,
But the dryness of his throat spurted empty words,

He couldn’t do it!
The truth was too heavy!
He had failed yet again…
To save his trapped voice

 

The Awakening

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From the windows of my soul, I could see the image of me,
Dancing in the timeless blue moon strokes,
Rending and tearing through time and space,
With my anxious, agile, slither body,

The breeze smelled of new earth and air,
I was surrounded and protected by an invincible chord,
I tasted a feeling of the ultimate freedom & fortification,
This was my tedious dream and fantasy made real,
I wished to hold and hoard that very moment,

A welcoming caress was flowing through my skin,
It made me immobile yet suspended my very soul,
There was easy and magical intimacy in the air,
Passing time distilled the sweetness of the moment,

 
My ocean-like ears were drowning every grief,
Satisfying all my senses with a worldly opulence,
I was the sun, the flower, the sky,
Filled with wild and unpredictable love,

It was a feeling of being unreachable,
It was marvelous and ruinous all at once,
It was painful yet amazing,
It was abnormal yet so real,
It was old yet so new,
It made me free and warm

The Agile Queen

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The crick crack echoed the breaking of dawn,
Her body reeled from drunken sweet slumber,
She emerged from the hollows of dead branches,
Guided by instincts, she searched for the soft luminous horizon

The sky was dotted by many scattered smoky clouds,
The crisp falling of air carried beauty that felt invincible,
It made her feel immobile and at the same time suspended her,
It was a distilled sweetness that mornings like these carried

The soft sounds of the whistles and bustles of the wind circled her,
They pushed her forward towards the flower petals despite herself,
The delicate soft petals were slowly opening for her awkward self,
She contained her firing desire to crawl and sit inside such openings

She was focused on fulfilling that, which justified her existence,
All her life she was guided and worked from her untamed instincts,
A huge burden of guilt descended on her whenever she thought of fleeing,
Her own existence and relevance was realized by what she did everyday

She was wild, free and was filled by unpredictable love for her duty,
That love was like the sun, it could not be contained in any way,
Though her world was crafty, dangerous and full of unseen horror,
That love was a glorious blanket that made her feel unreachable,
That understanding rose and blossomed the agile body of this tiny queen