Here Now

I want to live this moment

since I know it is fleeting

I am not absorbed in anything else.

 

This moment is not mine alone

it goes beyond everything perfect

and is more than my hustles and bustles.

 

All shades of emotions

cross my mind

they are varied and urgent.

 

But I am here now

with everything that I am

and everything that I will never be.

 

I cherish all my stories

of joy and pain

this life is truly worth living.

 

Whether I feel happy or sad

I know one thing that I desire

to be completely lost here now.

 

It begs me to question

What do I yearn for?

What makes me ache?

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Fiery Love

Eyes had turned hollow

All glitter had vanished

Held neither curiosity

Nor iota of hope

 

Shadows subdued the sun

Tears warmed his laps

He felt guilty

And dirty

 

Punishment

Strain and drain seeped

Into his flesh and bones

Reducing him into a corpse

 

He wished to burn all memories

Memories of his fertile mind

Those he hoped would flower

Now they hid behind his eyelids

 

He wished to let go of all the pain

Wished it to be so easy

Like opening eyes

But it wasn’t

 

Eyes shut, he conjured the image

Its presence wouldn’t fail him

Had never failed him

It steadied his senses

 

He recalled the image

It noticed him

Understood

Responded

 

Sound were soft

Murmuring

Enticing

Urging

Lulled him into security

The Chance

Do it

Do it now

Time is ripe

Lexis was whirling

 

Urgency twirled her mind

Trembling sticky fingers

Sweat itching pale skin

Heartbeat threatening

 

Despite her good manners

They made her invincible

Always ignored

Colorless

 

But finally today

She was going to do it

The reality ragged her breath

Hardened by stiff gulps of salty air

 

Sharp needles of the sun

Caused cold but silent sobs

The sky appeared pale and grey

The late afternoon glow centered her

 

She was armed

Body and spirit

Hid it in her tongue

Careless, honest and ready

 

Today she had a chance

To be a colorful hum

A full entity

Visible

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quote for the year

Soul Food

In the desert there is no water, but the mirage suggests that there is such a thing as water. In the shadow there is no reality or substantiality, but from the shadow we can understand that there is substance and reality.

~Bhagavad Gita

Soul Food

One has to learn tolerance in the face of dualities such as happiness and distress, or cold and warmth, and by tolerating such dualities become free from anxieties regarding gain and loss.

~Bhagavad Gita

Soul Food

The things that are ahead of you are smaller than what is within you now…

Njoki’s Candle Light

Njoki looked tired, hungry, old and full of grief as she sat under the shade of that huge Mugumo Tree. But I can’t really tell whether she was old because constant hunger and grief forces one to appear somehow old. Clouds hung black and heavy all day these days as if they reflected what she felt inside. Mwangi, her husband had gone to war, just as the sons and husbands of many other women who were living with her, in that forced concentrated village. Their homes, land, livestock and all crops had been taken away by the white men. Njoki couldn’t hold back the memories of her early marriage from slamming into her. Together with her husband, they had barely stayed married three seasons. Happiness and thrill filled her innocent heart those days for starting a family, her very own home. Those feelings could not be contained then, just as the rising and setting of the sun. It was a blissful beginning.

As Njoki let these memories run through her mind like a bird from one branch to the next, she had a sickening feeling in her now pregnant stomach. She was now a small fly trapped in a big spider’s web. She was weak and vulnerable. How was she going to welcome and raise this baby all by herself in this pathetic environment? She did not think life was ugly and unkind until now. But she held on to those lasts whispers from her husband. “I will be back for you; it’s going to be okay”. Those were the words that kept Njoki alive and gave meaning to her empty life. They were the magical flickering flames of a dying candle. They were delicate and safe inside her heart. She thought she had a thump, a kick! The baby kicked for the first and second time and she felt it! Her heart softened with a squash. She was fighting  back hard the tears that were now shamelessly wetting her eyes. Was it joy? Was she wallowing? She didn’t have the right words to define that bittersweet moment.