Theory of Beauty

……and no beauty at all

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Confession

The free flowing light of my window

And an air of quiet fortitude

Vow that I need to be free

And get things off my chest

For far too long my eyes lost their bearing

I’ve been a bird with no place to land

Flying aimlessly as if escaping hell

Going in circles like a kite in the wind

I know they say no one is perfect, but I’m perfect in my own way

I deserve to experience raindrops drizzling down my skin

As they dance through the dazzling sunlight

I yearn to identify them and feel them

I want and need an earful of sound advice

All to be seen through the gentle curved lens

My courage is insisting and pulling hard

To fight back into light and air

A Bloom of Hope in the Middle of Nowhere

The fading smell of December rains

Accompanied the clear and lazy sky

Birds singing and chirping in the trees

Grasses uttering secretly underfoot

The sight was so beautiful that it hurt

She felt a snakelike delight that moment

This feeling was embedded in her skin

It crept through her the way a spirit would

For far, far too long she had been careless

Running away from the sharp vicious memory

That clutched her in a severe hurtful death grip

Leaving her with a helpless tired appearance

She was unable to fight back her teary eye blinks

All hurtful feelings cascaded through her like flood

Turning any and all husbanded anger watery

Mingled with a startling and lovely liberation

Dark-Colored Light

He was in a sorry state of despair

Everyday growing sorrier with disgust

Thinking of his low and filthy life

Soon he would steal than starve

Life felt like a statue whose parts were fit badly

And he deemed himself unworthy of sunlight

He had tried everything that he could

There was no more any art to it

The wrath of god had made him smaller than a vermin

And it forced him to wear that look each day

Malicious eyes accompanying him all over

With something hotter than loath

He walked aimless like a torn piece of paper

Blown through the vast deserts of Egypt

Resignation ringing loudly through his lips

Ignoring his wounded, closed appearance

All he could smell was imaginary food

He would risk everything that day

Even violence or violent death

The resolve ate him up like cholera

He ignored the lingering smear of red sunlight

Even the hordes of rats that sprawled his way

They were trivial in the grand scheme of things

Demanded voraciously in his flow of thoughts

Death at Midnight

The trees swayed here and there

Lost in the silent rhythm of the winds

Whispering dark secrets that journeyed far

Unflustered by scheming ways of this world

Pinkening sun vanishing in distant horizons

Dark clouds forming across the dull sky

Reflecting dark haunting thoughts

And another unfulfilled promise

The caged bird begun singing

A sad song reverberating loudly in the air

The aging song seemed like an endless torture

As if performed by someone in the wrong stage

The creek crack of the cage tormented the ears

 Than that of uncertainty to what awaited

That trickled under the charcoal sky

The scent assaulting the nostrils

Hope was a sad irritation

The song carried a hurt, pleading sound

A weakened sound with no meaning or reason

Since the prospect of death grieved the caged bird

Approaching thunderstorms emptied light in the sky

Soon she would be a flower savaged by gale

She was trapped in spite of everything

Waiting to feel her heartbeat dying

The Chance

Do it

Do it now

Time is ripe

Lexis was whirling

 

Urgency twirled her mind

Trembling sticky fingers

Sweat itching pale skin

Heartbeat threatening

 

Despite her good manners

They made her invincible

Always ignored

Colorless

 

But finally today

She was going to do it

The reality ragged her breath

Hardened by stiff gulps of salty air

 

Sharp needles of the sun

Caused cold but silent sobs

The sky appeared pale and grey

The late afternoon glow centered her

 

She was armed

Body and spirit

Hid it in her tongue

Careless, honest and ready

 

Today she had a chance

To be a colorful hum

A full entity

Visible

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smile

Someone’s Watching

Helpless and hopeless I lose to my senses

I know I have the weakest flesh,

And I am unlucky enough to witness,

This is my chaos of existence

 

I keep blowing away every single ray of light,

Innocently I surrender my soul to the shadowy,

And wear it so comfortably like an old hat,

Even the town’s drunk seems contented with it

 

The land feels dry and hot in my feet,

As I desperately search for the scattered grass,

At least to assure myself that I will see that ray again,

Or even hope to get help from that who’s watching

 

My life is as fragile like a petal amidst dry lands,

I feel it receding like a boat on a shore,

It is getting away as in violence,

I only need that trifling mound of love

 

The world vibrates with piercing punishment,

Today is harder than the day before,

It is a strange sad mortality,

But the desire to live burns inside me,

It bursts like an over-flared balloon

 

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Better Things…

Better things are coming….I can smell, feel and  hear them carrying  sounds of explosion!

Cody…..Shining from ‘The Other Side”

I cannot believe that you are absent yet again,
I wish I could employ a little magic,
To bring you back to life,
Just for a minute to experience your presence

 

Thoughts are dragging me in their wake,
They are urgent, varied and exhaust my senses,
This is an orgy kind of solitude never felt before,
As I crave to see you annoy me just once again

We shared all the delights and pains of life,
These memories glow but they also hurt with odd sharpness,
I felt the hand of death when I saw you breathe your last,
I still wish that I could do something, anything for you

I still reel with tears when images of your weak body prop up,
Struggling in vain to suck your last energy while in my arms,
The images are still crystal clear and well-lit in my mind’s eye,
They force me through the horrors of death throes

Your parting has made me become who I am,
I do not know who I am anymore,
I have become a maze of shambles
I am full of grief beyond comprehension

Time after time, I call upon your name from memories,
Cody, Cody…. reality always storms my heart,
Silence, silence that I never knew existed,
I had seen it better never taken it in

I have resigned my hopes to the inevitable ‘other side’,
I can’t stop wondering if you are happy in that other side,
The strands of sweetened morning sunshine remind me of you,
You were my sunshine and still are…
For as a kitty I made you a home in my heart to stay forever,

 

 

 

 

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