Utterly broken and despaired,
My heart heaves with every breath,
As my tired, feeble legs keep the struggle,
Trying to put one foot ahead of the other,

This familiar path of more defeat and less victory,
Has become a lifetime of stalling horror,
An old and comfortable habit,
All around me the air pregnant with a stench of failure,

Day after day I wait for fate to smile to me,
Overwhelmed by waves of panic,
And a tangle of lies that haunt my ears,
The endless litany of guilt and self accusations,

My whole view of life has gotten skewed by having to harden,
With despair, sadness, fear and despair are my constant companions,
There seem virtually no prospects for me beyond the horizons,
But I invite a sense of competence and peace from within,

Everyone is entitled to his/her own dreams and illusions,
Though sometimes they may seem harder to pursue than expected,
We have to keep our own counsel and guide them with hostility,
And hopefully reach to those golden moments to share and to hold


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